Lesson 2.1 (Con't): Create new roots for your life
Continue (those of you who missed the previous blog please visit lesson 2) https://www.fornobleheartsllc.com/self-care/lesson-2-get-rid-of-this-toxic-roots-and-create-new-roots-for-your-life
I hope everyone is awakened from last week's lesson. I would like to continue creating new roots for our lives. I know last week might have been hard for some people due to confronting old habits and people. One step at a time is always the best thing to do when trying to create new roots.
Remember from lesson 2 the scenario if “someone shoots you that pain will hurt but go away. That gunshot wound will heal but it will leave a scar will be there so you will not forget”. The goal is not to forget it to heal from those habits and people. It will take some time for people to adjust, to look at the people we love around us can change the way we act and feel.
Now that you have acknowledged these toxic habits and people, it's time for you to create new roots. Let’s break it down into two parts habits and people.
Part 1
A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. It's a quote that inspired me and hopes it move your spirit to look at it from a different perspective.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
(by Mahatma Gandi)
It takes time to change a habit maybe three weeks, months, or even a year for others. It varies on how deep that root was in your spirit. Let's go back to those answers from lessons 1 and 2. Collect all the people names and internal habits you answered.
In the next step write the questions and Answer truthfully as possible. I want you to go deep and don’t just answer the question with just one word. Also do not scroll to the end unless all questions are answered.
1. Can you identify your triggers?
2. List all the people that trigger those habits? (note: it’s not always people but it can be within ourselves)
3. Why do you want to change those bad habits?
4. How can you practice mindfulness every day? (note: this can help you realize ways your habits affect your daily life.)
5. How can you replace the bad habits with different habits that can benefit your daily life?
Just remember not all habits are bad. You have to remember these habits built who you are today. You have to acknowledge if those habits can benefit you or destroy you in the future. The experience you had in your life is the power of growth and wisdom.
Part 2
The goal is not to get rid of these people especially if they are loved ones, family, and friends. For some, you might have to distance yourself respectably. Please don't abandon them, but know how to balance your energy with them. If those people suck your energy after a conversation don't give them as much time only enough energy you would like to give for that day.
If you use this analogy “you know how to handle toxic people on your job whether they are coworkers, manager or boss. So why can’t you have just as much patience with the people that you love which are family and friends accordingly”. Should a paycheck come first before loving your family and friends. If you can’t picture yourself without them in your life they are meaningful to your life. Please cherish those people while they are still alive. Now, if you have anyone in your life that you do not care for in your heart. Just think before letting them go, you may learned or experience some great memories.
Family and friends are special because they bring out the good and bad in you. Those habits are good for memories and bad to change character within you not to adapt. If you are not careful on who you around can create weeds around your roots that you don't know it was there until it penetrates in your spirit. Remember in this Bible verse in...
1 Corinthians 15:33
“Do not be deceived Bad company ruins good morals”
Which means protect your spirit with the people you are around to live a moral compass life.
In the next step write the questions and Answer truthfully as possible. I want you to go deep and don’t just answer the question with just one word. Also do not scroll to the end unless all questions are answered.
1. Identify the people that hurt you the most that have an impact on your habits?
2. How can you balance your time and energy with these people?
3. How can you set boundaries for these toxic people? (note: If they’ve found a way to control and manipulate you and it stops working, they’ll do more of whatever used to work before they back off and find themselves another target)
4. What are your core values and principles? (note: if you have clear values, there will be certain behaviors you won’t tolerate in yourself or others)
5. What are the qualities that people adore about you? (note: think of people that call you when they need help and know to call you to solve their problems.)
Throughout your life, we will adapt to habits and toxic people. It is impossible to avoid these issues because it is natural to be around these people. What if we had a perfect world with perfect people? How do you expect to change if all the time is the same? When changes come growth and opportunities to be the best versions of yourself. God put people in your life for a reason and for a season. We have to recognize if we can’t escape those people, it's because God is trying to teach you something for you to grow for his purpose.
To create new roots, you have to be open-minded to learning and growing. I know you may have experienced a lot in a short time, but it is always room to learn something new. As you answered those questions in part 1 and 2. I want you to put it together and use it for this week.
Always proactively prepare for triggers because those issues will arise. People on the battlefield always prepare mentally and physically. I’m not trying to tell you to live on the edge with anxiety, but with the faith that when your trigger occurs you will know how to handle it.
Also, remember not everything in your mind needs to be told, sometimes it good to put things in your back pocket and observe. Meaning, if you analyze toxic people and observe them you will understand what habits you adapted from them and how toxic they can be. It called the awakening moment in your life when you say to yourself “Wow, I've been around this person and don't really know them”. The reasons we see these things occur we ignore the verbal and non-verbal signs they are telling you. They say “listen we are not the same person and you knew these things when you met me or in our family”.
It not that you ignore them, it just you had faith in them to be that person they showed you a point in your life. People's naturally will give people chances because one way or another they show you how good they can be. It’s not like you made it up in your head and they are this person, they gave you reasons.
You start to see toxic people's true colors when you are no longer value in their life once they suck up all the energy from you and may bait someone else.
They are capable of doing good you may or may not believe. Remember at one point of your life you genuine changed for yourself or for someone you love. It's just they are not consistent with their actions. I'm not saying to make excuses for their action but remember you was once there. You just need more patience or disengage respectfully. Listen a genuine person is consistent and loving all the time.
It's time for you to dig deep and stand firm on the new roots you will start to grow in this new season. Make it happen and don't let any weeds attack these new roots. Protect it like your life and future depends on it.
I love you guys with all my heart, please hug me through your phone, tablet, or whatever device you are reading this blog on. Don't worry I can still feel the love lol. I hope you enjoy this healing lesson. Please visit our For Noble Hearts LLC Facebook page and go to our Facebook Group “FNH_HeartsofHumanity” to join and comment on the post.